Oh, and you thought it was over? A saucy little love affair that was the Tauranga Arts Festival. Ten days and nights of passion that took me to places that I thought I would never go. As always with a good romp, there are some great tales that can only be told after the fact. So here it is, this year’s Arts Festival outtakes…

Hearing laughter in The Pianist, where I thought I was going to have to resuscitate somebody.

Sitting in front of a snorer at Baycourt, during a captivating show. It reminded me of when I was at the Moulin Rouge show in Paris, last year; where a table of businessmen nodded off, while a woman in only a sparkly g-string danced in a tank of water with an albino python.

The All Blacks running late for their appearance at the Tauranga Art Gallery because they were having Cobb Crunchies and Pink Panthers for lunch with the mayor at Cobb & Co.

Hanging out with the cast of The Brave in the wee hours of the morning on The Strand and a guy walks up to me and asks “Was that fullar on Shortland Street?”

“Yes. He’s just been in a show here.”

“Oh. He worked at the Nike store in Onehunga, too?”

Going to a pre-play BBQ wearing a flapper-style dress; then arriving to Baycourt smelling of sausages, Juicy Couture and sunscreen.

Pouring far too much golden syrup all over my chunk of rewena bread and having it drip onto the foyer floor at Baycourt. My clutch purse is still a wee bit sticky.

The out of synch sound effect hiccup, adding to the absolute charm of one play.

The ‘no more winesies for you’ gentleman who tried to walk out of the mirror instead of the door, at the Crystal Palace. Don’t you worry, I totally saw that.

Trying to quietly slip into shows in session, while wearing heels on a wooden floor.

Catching the festival publicist spinning around in ‘I haven’t slept in two weeks’ circles before Tirama, on day four.

The tulle from my tutu stuck awkwardly as I was trying to carry a hefty fruit bowl up some steep stairs, while trying not to cane over in the pair of heels I was wearing. I was in too much of a rush and didn’t want to fall down from cracking a quintessential NJ laugh.

The accidental boob-graze in a booth full of beauties, while trying to do the actions to the Drinking Song in Die Roten Punkte.

Being hit square in the forehead with a wayward wafer on Back of the Bus, and then trying to contain myself from bursting out laughing.

My mid-week ability to speak was lapsed by tiredness and tongue-twisting; introducing the festival chair Glenn, to someone else, as Greg.

Catching a festival team member and her dad catching a couple of synchronised z’s in a Crystal Palace booth, during one of the writer talks.

Getting shooshed from inside the Crystal Palace, while I was standing outside laughing waaaay too loud during conversation.

My voice going off on various tangents and having turns at playing the role of a 13 year old boy and a honking duck.

And so you have it, done and dusted for another two years. I feel so fortunate to reap the rewards, having the opportunity to be entertained and enlightened at as many shows as I could possibly fit in. So a massive thank you to all of the Tauranga Arts Festival trust, team and volunteers for allowing me to blog for you, once again. Your passion for providing a platform for great performance for the Bay of Plenty locals, shines through in the calibre of work showcased.

Lots of love,